I went into this race wildly determined to finish and finish well. My last 50K was at Sunmart in 2004 and I finished but didn't do great. At Sunmart I took my time going out for the second big loop and then dragged my husband (no longer my husband, btw) out with me for some company to fight the boredom and to give me some motivation. I ended up finishing in 9 hours 40 minutes with ginormous blisters on the bottoms of my feet. Note to self... Adidas Supernova Trail is not the shoe for you.

I thought about doing the 50K at Rocky Hill Ranch in April but ended up doing only the 25K instead.

So... at the start of the race I was thinking to myself... "you can do this, you've completely changed your life with a divorce, a new place to live, a new job, and a new love interest... you're ready for this and you will finish strong." It was kind of a reality check for me. I tend to get nervous before races and I tend to think of how many miles I will be traversing and how many hours I anticipate spending out there and then I get scared and my confidence is shaken. I was determined not to do that to myself this time.

Ava, Chris, Donna, and I left the hotel in Amarillo around 5:30am and headed to the canyon. I was tired but focused and ready. I took the wrong exit at first, turned around in a parking lot and started over (not knowing that Doise, Janet, and Jeff were following and wondering what on Earth I was doing... oops). We arrived to the park entrance and drove down the dark and windy park road in silence as we were all preparing for what was ahead. We parked and then rested in the car for about 10 minutes before venturing out into the cold.

Red Spicer, the RD, had a fire pit surrounded by picnic tables so as soon as we got our drop bags in order we all headed for the fire. The energy of everyone waiting for their race to start while sitting in front of the fire was really pretty neat. It definitely made me feel like I was a part of something.

The race started at 7am with a 6 mile first loop. For the first bit of that we were running with the 50 milers too so it was a single file line of bobbing flashlights and head lamps. It made it feel like some sort of death march or prison camp activity and as soon as I thought that I mentally slapped my own hand and decided that was not the right kind of attitude to have at the beginning of a race. At the first aid station we went right and the 50 milers went left. Ava and Larry were long gone at this point and I knew I shouldn't continue to keep up with Chris, Doise, and Donna or I'd bonk later. I needed this to be my own race and I really needed to pace myself in the beginning if I wanted to finish strong. So I watched them go and I continued on. At this point it was getting light enough that I turned off the flashlight.

Soon enough I reached the "Dos Locos Senoritas" aid station (ignore the grammar problems with that name... that's what they called it) and knew that it was just 2.5 miles back to the start/finish. I'm going along and it's absolutely gorgeous scenery... but I'm also thinking "this terrain is a lot like Bandera, wow, I have to do this part 2 more times, bet that's gonna feel like a really big hill on my last loop." I really do have this kind of inner dialogue with myself. The difference is that at the beginning of the race I keep it to myself... towards the end I start sharing my thoughts with the things around me. On a long race like this I don't typically have any other people around me for very long so by "things" I mean the little plant, animal, and bug friends I make along the way. More later on my race induced psychoses.

As I'm getting closer, probably about 1.5 miles from the start/finish my stomach begins a full fledged protest of what I'm doing. I am almost doubled over in cramping pain. And it's making me angry too, which doesn't seem to help things any. At about this time the photographer snaps my picture. I just know I was making an uber-attractive face *dripping sarcasm.*

I get to the start/finish and take care of my stomach and pick up a peanut butter and banana half sandwich and start my first big loop (12.5 miles) at 1 hour 50 minutes in. For the remainder of the race I have my Gorilla strapped to me (in addition to talking to animal friends, I also name inanimate objects... Gorilla is my iPod Shuffle). I spent a few hours last week picking the crème de la crème of race music so I was partying like a rock star as I chugged down the trails. It really was all I could do to keep from singing aloud. My inner diva took over later in the race... but more on that later.

The first 12.5 mile loop went well and was pretty uneventful. I got to see the trail on the other side of the road for the first time and decided that I liked the first part better. The loops made a figure-eight type pattern. We did the "start/finish loop" for the first 6 miles; then the "other side" loop, back to the first aid station, and the "start/finish" loop again to make up the 12.5 mile trek. Rinse and repeat.

I finished the first 12.5 mile loop after 3 hours and 10 minutes total... so I was 5 hours into the race. My original and naïve thought, was that a sub-8 hour run would be awesome. But considering the Belt this year took me one minute over 4 hours I knew sub-8 wasn't possible but that anywhere under 8 and a half hours would make me proud.

I stopped at my drop bag just long enough to grab another peanut butter and banana half sandwich... I think I was only there maybe 2 minutes. I was still feeling pretty good but knew that I was no longer in control of all my mental faculties. There were a lot of scarab beetles on the trail and I made it a point to say "hi" to the ones still living. To their fallen comrades I offered my prayers. It was a sad day in the beetle world. (Little science trivia to amuse your friends with... did you know that there are more identified species of beetles in the world than there numbers of every other living organism on the planet? When asked what implication that had, Darwin's eloquent answer was that "our creator must have an inordinate fondness for beetles.").

So I was still trucking... running the downs and walking the ups making sure to take advantage of my long legs and use huge strides on the ups to be more efficient. I was also intermittently singing. I am not a singer. I have been paid not to sing. But I couldn't see anyone else on the trail and I figured that if some poor soul could hear me around the next switch-back he couldn't necessarily prove it was me. At this point I also decided that the Armenian death metal band System of a Down is the bestest running music. There's this one song where the chorus is "I-E-A-I-A-I-O"... yeah, that became my running mantra. And I had it stuck in my head all that night too. "Lost in Hollywood" (http://www.systemofadownonline.com/lyrics/0411.htm) and "Question" (http://www.systemofadownonline.com/lyrics/0408.htm) were also helpful. Not to mention the Numa Numa song by the Romanian pop band O-Zone (http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/206373) (click "watch the movie") and the requisite 80's hit "Ain't Nothin' Gonna Break my Stride" (http://www.80smusiclyrics.com/artists/matthewwilder.htm)
Of course there's also the dances that go with the songs... when the System of a Down dude says "all you bitches put your hands in the air and wave them like you just don't care" I can't help but do just that. Even while driving. It just has to be done.

So, needless to say, I really did have a good time during this race. It was all about me. (Not to sound like a total attention whore or anything). I was doing this for myself and I knew that I could finish it and tell people about it without someone else saying "well she only finished because I went out on the last loop with her so it doesn't really count."

You get one guess on who said that.

Punksucker.

I finished in 8 hours 24 minutes. I was relieved, excited, emotional, and had tears of happiness welling up as Ava, Donna, Chris, Jeff, Doise, and Janet called my name across the finish line.

I can't wait for my next race.

Now go throw your hands in the air and wave them like you just don't care.